After-market friendship...

One might ask... does it really matter? And, to this, I must reply... "most certainly - it truly matters - to me". Now, anyone who truly knows what it's like to have someone that's there but not really there knows what I'm talking about (i.e. Lunch Date - movie Just Friends). Let me just kick it old school for you. 

What ever happened to a night out with a friend, where you didn't check your e-mail, text or instant messages? Where the last thing you did before you left was check to see if you had messages and took care of them, if any, when you returned home. Where did that go? Remember when you were younger and technology wasn't such a big deal, where it was frowned upon to impede on your friendship... where it was actually nice to hang out with your friend(s) and not worry about what other people were doing, but to spend quality time with them? Remember when it was courteous to see how your friends are... Is it really that old fashioned to think like that? If it is, I must have a quaint view of things to have this incredulous thought in my head. True, I used to loathe not being able to get a hold of people on a whim, but now that I can - I wish I couldn't.

I'll just throw this out there, and if anyone really has an issue, contact me and we'll have a discussion about it, I don't want you to think that I'm just some kvetch with a ruse to hide my consternation of the subject. Maybe it's just me, but I don't understand the necessity to be involved with everyone I know all the time, sure it's nice to know what's going on, but to me it's overkill. For instance, if you were out with someone on a special occasion or if you haven't seen the person in ages, for me it would be absolutely critical for me to give you my undivided attention. At that point, it's about principles and values, i.e. The loathing of wasting someone's time, missing out on little peccadillos, wanting "quality" time, etc. Sure, that could be selfish on your part to expect someone to follow an idea that you, yourself, hold dear, but I think to some degree it's selfish of someone else to put you "on hold", as well. Sure, there is give and take, but accepting that this should become commonplace behavior is not something that should be accepted, but can be occasionally tolerated. It comes down to someone respecting you enough to put aside others and make time for you. I know this sounds like I'm saying, "Make time just for me, be with me, I'm selfish, you can't talk to anyone but me when you're with me..." but that's not the case I'm trying to make. Like I said, there is give & take... I'm sensible enough to understand that people have other things going on, but don't overdo it. There's a reasonable grey area for a reason, there's a feeling out process, but you should consider at the very least, that the other person is compromising, too - to spend time with you.

Here's a little quote:

You don’t get to pick your own nickname. They’ve gotta give you one. It’s like we’re all tryin’ to make pets out of each other and we’re not comfortable unless we get to name ‘em. -Laura Moncur